Character First

There has been a lot of news in the media recently on the move by MOE to refocus on character and values education in our schools,  and the debate as to whether good character should be extrinsically rewarded.  The rebalancing of providing a holistic education to our children is indeed timely as we move into an age whereby morals seem to get thrown out of the window and men (and women) become more self-centred and conceited:

But realise this, that in the last days difficult times will come.  For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of plesaure rather than lovers of God.    2 Tim 3:1-4 (NASB)

Unlike God whose character does not change over time, mankind is fickleminded.  His ability to do good to help others is without doubt.  Just look at the help rendered to the Japanese in the wake of the earthquake and tsunami last year.  However, his propensity to do evil is inherent due to the carnal nature resident in each one of us.  Many 'good' people have their souls wrecked by an act of folly which they would live to regret.  The apostle Paul proclaims the sin nature as such:

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the wishing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.  For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish.   Rom 7:18-19 (NASB)

I think it was Warren Wiersbe who said, "People are like trees: the shadow of the tree is reputation, the fruit of the tree is personality, but the roots of the tree are the most important part – character." And because the roots support the tree, it is important that this foundation be strong, otherwise great will be the fall of that tree. Good character is built over time and has to laid in a child when he/she is still young.   The home should be the first place where a young child should be imbued with good discipline and morals.  Solomon, the wisest man on earth, brought this counsel to his son:

My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and years of life, and peace they will add to you.  Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.   Pr 3:1-3 (NASB)

Solomon continues his proverbs by mentioning seven things that the LORD hates (Pr 6:16-19):
1. Haughty eyes
2. Lying tongue
3. Hands that shed innocent blood
4. Heart that devises wicked plans
5. Feet that run rapidly to evil
6. False witness who utter lies
7. One who spreads strife among brothers

As you would notice, the tongue is very deadly; it can cause a lot of harm and damage (Jas 3:8).  We have talked about the wickedness of man's heart in the past.  It again boils down to the carnal nature of man; we can only be redeemed by the blood of the Lamb (Rom 7:24-25; 8:1). 

Only God is the best judge of a person's character because He is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart (Heb 4:12; Jer 17:10).  We can certainly affirm good behaviours/attitudes of our children, not necessary through monetary rewards, to motivate them in the right direction.   A simple word of encouragement is often good enough.   At the same time, we have to watch ourselves, because we are often times role-models to them.