Learning to Connect

I am currently reading a book by John Maxwell entitled "Everyone communicates few connect".  It is a useful book for those who would like to connect with people either at the individual level or at a collective level.  The latter is for those who wants to connect with an audience when makinng a presentation, whether at work, church or social functions. 

Let me share some thoughts on how to connect at the individual level based on some pointers in the book.  There are certainly many opportunities in life to talk to people, be they familiar to us or not.  In order to establish relationship with others, there is a need to take the initiative.   Don't wait for others to do so.  Be the first to offer assistance or start a conversation.  People are generally willing to talk to you if you expend energy to converse with them first.  I find this to be true during coffee fellowship after church service.

Once we get past the discomfort in initiating a conversation, the next thing to do is to find common ground for connecting.  To do so, we have to pay attention or listen to the person.  We have to be others-focused or in the words of the apostle Paul "not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others" (Phil 2:4).  One good way to start off conversation is to ask general questions relating to family, occupation, recreation and message (FORM).  The last is to find out from them what they thought of the message they have heard.  This can very well branch off to issues that could be close to the person's heart.

When we are able to get a conversation going, we should be not be judgmental in our posture but seek to really understand and clarify issues raised.  Asking "why" questions would be a good way to seek clarification.  We can proffer our views on issues raised but there is no need to be condescending towards the person(s) we are talking to.  The important thing is to keep the communication channels open so that the next time there is another opportunity to meet the rapport would have already been established. 

Connection goes beyond simply communicating; it seeks ways to make people feel good and accepted.  This takes time and energy, but the effort put in would be well worth it as people would appreciate and remember it. 

Water Baptism

At the recent church baptism service, I encouraged the candidates and the people present to
Be: being precedes doing - Mary has chosen the one thing that is necessary ie. to sit at Jesus' feet (Lk 10:41-42)
A
People: we are a special people because God has chosen us and showered His mercies on us (1 Pet 2:9)
Transformed: in our attitude, behaviour and concern for others (2 Cor 5:17)
Into
Spiritual
Maturity: the writer to the Hebrews remind us to grow up and not be dependent on milk; instead we ought to study and apply God's Word in our lives - through constant use we are able to discern good and evil (Heb 5:12-14)

Goinng through water baptism is not a badge that Christians acquire in their faith pilgrimage but rather a pledge before God and the congregation to live a life worthy of God's calling.  Hence there is a need to strive towards spiritual maturity - to become more like Jesus. How do we go about doing so?

Firstly, like Mary of old, we need to imbibe the Word of God and talk to Him in prayer on a daily basis.
Secondly, as God's chosen people and royal priesthood, we are to worship God regularly and witness to His eternal grace and mercies. 
Thirdly, we need the help of the Holy Spirit to transform us into Christ's image (1 Sam 10:6).
Fourthly, we must not only be hearers but doers of God's Word; it is only through obedience that we grow towards spiritual maturity.

The life of King Saul showed us that one can be anointed of the Lord but yet fail through disobedience (1 Sa 15:22-23).  The words highligted in bold above are all the necessary ingredients for Christian growth and maturity.  May you grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ (2 Pet 3:18)..