Parenting Styles

Tim Elmore, a parenting expert, mentioned four parenting styles:

1. Helicopter Parents: hover over kids to ensure they get every imaginable advantage.  They can be too protective over their children that they don't allow them the privilege of learning to fail and persevere.  Such parents would also likely create tensions in school where the education of their children are concerned; finding fault with everyone else except themselves.  The issue with this parenting style is the controlling spirit.  The anti-dote is to let go and learn to trust kids more with freedom and accountability.

2.  Karaoke Parents: want to sound and look like thier kids to stay cool and hip.  They perfer to be a buddy to their children rather than be an adult figure to them with the result that there are no clear boundaries that build security and esteem.  Such parents would be too soft in handling kids' discipline.  The issue with this parenting style is low emotional security, needing to be loved and liked.  The anti-dote is to embrace one's own age and station in life; allow kids to relate with their peers and work to fulfill one's responsibility as a parent. 

3. Dry Cleaner Parents: drop off for experts (school, church, sports coach) to make them right.  They don't furnish children with the mentoring and authentic personal time required in raising them up.  They are probably too busy with work or some other things.    Such parents would usually leave school to handle their kids' problems, preferring a hands off approach.  The issue with this parenting style is inadequacy; unable to handle them.  The anti-dote is to build bridges with their children by making time to be with them. 

4. Monster Parents: trying to fulfill unrealised dreams through their kids.  They can transform into a rage when cornered due to an unhealthy past with unfulfilled dreams and aspirations.  We sometimes read of parents turning into incredible Hulks and physically abusing their helpless children.   Such parents can also put a lot of stress on their children.  The issue with this parenting style is having a baggage in life.  The anti-dote is to deal with it and don't pass it on. 

We need to be engaged parents who spend time interacting with our children, setting appropriate boundaries for them and giving them the freedom to fail, and learn from it.  Our emotions must also be managed and brought under the control of the Holy Spirit.  The apostle Paul reminds us in Col 3:21
"Parents, don’t be hard on your children. If you are, they might give up."   (CEV)

"Children have never been good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."    James Baldwin