The fine art of small talk by Debra Fine

Picked up this book at Marine Parade Library a few weeks back.  The reason is that there're many opportunities for us do small talk, apart from church (after service). 
This book lays the foundation as to what type of questions one can ask and how to go about asking them, even to strangers.  The benefit, of course, apart from building friendship, is networking. 
I particularly liked the chapter on Crimes and Misdemeanours.  Debra liken conversation killers to criminals and she listed eight of them:


1.  FBI Agent: relentless assault at asking a series of qns
2.  The Braggart: boasting of his accomplishments with great embellishment
3.  The One-Upper: will top someone else story
4.  The Monopolizer: hog the conversation
5.  The Interrupter: cutting people's conversation short by jumping in
6.  The Poor Sport: will not play by the rules; will not return the ball back when thrown at
7.  The Know-it-all: interested in no other person's opinion but his own
8.  The Adivser: a veritable agony aunt


The poor sport can figure prominently in family conversations when a question is asked and the perpetual response is "Don't know".  This part was shared and talked about during our family vacation recently.


I also like the part on 50 ways to fuel a conversation in chapter 11.  Here's a sample:


1.  Be the first to say hello.
2.  Introduce yourself to others.
3.  Take risks and anticipate success.
4.  Practice different ways of starting a conversation.
5.  Make an effort to remember people's names.  (often times i need to write down to remember them)
6.  Show curiosity and sincere interest in finding out about others.
7.  Tell others about the important events in your life.  Don't wait for them to draw it out.
8.  Demonstrate that you're listening by restating their comments in another way.
9.  Smile, make eye contact, offer a handshake, and go find the approachable person.
10.Greet people that you see regularly.


That would get you started.  BC has been told to be a people-oriented church and how else can we be unless each one of us make the first move.  So, this Sunday, go out on a limb and take the first step in connecting with someone new.  You'd be surprised what you can gain along the journey.